Saturday, August 7, 2010

JJS Names his Dog

News from correspondent Flossy Onenoat

Jonathon Jason SJoojaard of the Broken Elbow Creek area was given a dog. Well, actually somebody dumped an older pup at his mailbox and the mutt sauntered into his yard yipping for attention.

JJS needed a dog. His old furry friend, Edsel Ford, died recently. Jonathon Jason has a penchant for giving his dogs double names. Some might call their pooch "Sam Adams", but JJ talked to his son the computer programmer and they decided on "Hello World".

That name lasted for about a day and a half. JJ's wife, Sarah Marie, did not like calling out "Hello, World" just in case a neighbor or the rural mail carrier heard her and decided she was going crazy. The poor dog then got into their house and made some messes and chewed up some furniture.

JJ then decided on "PEE PARTY" as the mutt's name, but Sarah Marie was even less thrilled with calling that out then she had been with "Hello, World". So they could remember the name with the connotations, they changed it to "TEA PARTY".

The mutt also tore into shirts and jeans hanging on the clothesline and JJ has also learned, "That dog don't hunt, neither." But, TEA PARTY does eat very well and then literally moans before passing copious foul-smelling gas.

Recently Sarah Marie's neighbor Doris called her complaining she had not slept well because her dog had barked and howled half the night. It had heard TEA PARTY howling at the moon and joined in the out-of-tune chorus.

By now, Sarah Marie and JJS have had TEA PARTY for a few months. The mutt did not approve of the old doghouse so they built him a new one. He promptly chewed out a new "window".

Sarah Marie sighed with her neighbor, "TEA PARTY got his name by chance, but it sure turned out to be appropriate. He eats free lunch, then pisses and moans. He is a free loader unhappy with his gifts. Now and then, if he gets a chance, he will chew up the furniture howling in glee. He also nearly digests shoes and gloves he finds. He howls insanely at the moon and stirs up the neighborhood."

Doris laughed and said, "We castrated our dog and he settled down a lot. Wait until early November and call your vet about your crazy furry friend."

[Editor's note: We could not find any advertiser willing to support this post]